Strange Weather
by EbonyShroud
Summary: When Sheogorath's mortal champion leaves the Shivering Isles to restock supplies, the Daedra Prince believes that it is because she is bored and needs a reminder about her duties.


Haskill sighed as he watched Lord Sheogorath glower on his throne. Usually, most things wouldn't bother Sheogorath, at least not for very long. The Daedra Prince of Insanity often cycled between drastic mood swings, going from cheerful and playful in one moment to bloodthirsty the next. However, the dark mood that had settled upon the Daedra Prince made Haskill uneasy. The mood wouldn't give away under the influence of some new situation as his moods usually would, which left the Daedra Prince to brood and ponder without respite.

"Why would the little mortal champion have any desire to leave?" Sheogorath growled, tapping his fingers against his throne in annoyance.

"Mi'Lord, don't you remember her explanation two days earlier?" Haskill asked cautiously. Sheogorath grumbled under his breath in annoyance and anger, which Haskill took for as a yes. The mortal champion, a young Bosmer female armed with her thin poisoned blade and old battered bow, had come to Sheogorath after fulfilling another quest, quests that Haskill had learned that she had sweetly renamed as insane suicide-missions, and asked for a week in the mortal realm. Sheogorath, being as he was, immediately shouted that she could leave for her home realm if she really wanted to go before he began rambling about brain pies and how long it had been since he had last eaten one. Only once she left and not returned for two days did Sheogorath realize that she hadn't been joking about the matter and had truly left the Shivering Isles to return to the mortal plane.

"Of course. It's just the problem of why? Why did she need to go prancing off at this time of need? We must stop the invading biscuits. No, wait, that's not it. It's the Grey March. No matter, it still must be stopped before it is too late," He grumbled, his fingers clenching in contained anger.

"It could be that she needed to find more supplies from her home realm," Haskill interjected. Sheogorath nodded mutely before suddenly another idea managed to worm to the forefront of his mind.

"I don't know why this didn't occur to me," Sheogorath suddenly said, standing up. An expression of rage enveloped his normally cheerful face, a bad sign for all foolish to remain in the throne room.

"Boredom!" He yelled. Haskill sighed wearily.

"Yes, mortals do tend to become bored. It's just in their nature, mi'lord," Haskill said, acknowledging the issue. However, his words did not sooth Sheogorath, if anything it only seemed to make him angrier.

"How can she be bored here, in _my _realm? Not how can she, _how dare she!_ Foolish mortal, naive mortal, when she comes slinking back here…" Sheogorath roared, startling the nearby guards that were passing by to relieve the gaurds outside. The guards glanced worriedly at each other and rushed out of the doors, nervous with being in the same room as their raging prince.

"Mi'lord, she is a mortal. You must remember that. She cannot help it. It is in the nature of mortals to be bored if…"

"If! **_IF! _**I will not stand for this! The insolance, how dare she become bored here!" Sheogorath raged, stomping his foot like a mortal child would when the child didn't get his or her desire. His angry voice bounced through the large room and rattled against the doors and windows, as if the room itself was scared of Sheogorath.

"Mi'lord, if I may make a suggestion?" Haskil stated warily. Sheogorath spun and glowered at him before the red in his face drained away and the anger left his eyes. However, the thin scowl refused to vanish.

"You may," He stated, his voice unnaturally calm and cold.

"Maybe you should do something to remind her why she had come here in the first place and remind her that this realm is not as boring as the mortal plane she had come from," Haskill said slowly. Sheogorath stared at him before a flicker of a smile broke through his icy calm expression.

"That's a good idea, my most sincere thanks. She needs a reminder. Mortals are truly forgetful; the little champion is no different. What shall I do, maybe burning dogs or…" Sheogorath murmured before he sank back into his throne, a dark but playful grin on his face as he thought about what he should do to remind her. Haskill sighed in a mixture of relief and annoyance, another disaster had been averted once again. The last time Sheogorath had become angry, he had splattered the Duke of Dementia, the one that preceded Syl, across the hall with half of her Mazken enterouge quickly following the Duke into death. It had taken two days to calm the raging lord until it was quiet enough to clean up the mess and elect Syl as the next Duchess. Haskil did not want to clean up a mess like that ever again.

* * *

As Maura walked down the loud streets of the Imperial City, a warm feeling of content made her smile as she glanced at the buildings around her. She was glad she managed to return to Tamriel. Not that being in the Shivering Isles was all that bad; for the most part the strange chaotic world amused her. The sharp contrasts between the citizens and terrain of Mania and Dementia, the fantastic world brimming with adventures, and the ruler of the realm, the Daedra Prince Sheogorath, were both fascinating and repulsive, hilarious and cruel. It was a world of paradoxes, a world where insanity is welcome and accepted as the normal way of life. However, after her supplies had drained and her enchanted weapons lost their luster, the strange feeling of homesickness had overwhelmed her. It had been a simple matter to ask Sheogorath for a reprieve from her duties and once he allowed her, she left the realm and returned to the Imperial City.

"Maura, you're back!" An excited voice screamed as two furry arms encircled her waist. She glanced down and smiled at the boy clinging to her.

"Hello, Hakrir. You've gotten so big, I almost didn't recognise you," She replied cheerfully as she playfully shoved the boy away and examined the Khajiit boy more closely. The boy smiled in self-confidence and puffed out his chest, his long tail twitching in excitement.

"Much thanks. Where have you been?" He asked as he linked his arm with hers, leaning his warm furry head against her arm as they continued walking down the road.

"I was in the countryside, where else would I be?" She replied.

"I know that, but where in the countryside? Please tell," He asked again.

"What do you want, for me to tell you stories about fighting hordes of blood-thirsty Daedra and cursed undead minions and other sorts of nasty creatures while on the search for fame, adventure, and treasure?" She asked, staring down at Hakrir in amusement.

"Of course, what else would I want?" He replied, a wide playful smile on his face.

"I'll tell you about them later," She replied. The smile on Hakrir's face turned into a frown and his gleeful expression soured for a moment before it returned with renewed fervor.

"Hakrir has been training, just like you said," He said.

"That's very good. Never neglect your training, being prepared is always the smart option," She replied as they reached the Arcane University. Hakrir nodded enthusiastically before he realized where they were.

"Why can't Hakrir join the Mages Guild?" He asked as he glanced at the building, sullenness creeping into his voice.

"It's cause you're too young. I've told you this before, you can't join until you are sixteen," Maura replied in annoyance. Every time he accompanied her to the gates of the Arcane University, he always asked about joining.

"But, that's a year away. It's too long to wait," He grumbled.

"Go run off and annoy your brother. I'll see you later in the Market District," She said, gently patting his shoulder.

"Will you tell your adventures then, please?" He whined, tearing his gaze away from the gates to stare forlornly at her.

"I already told you that I will tell you the stories, Hakrir. Run along now," She replied with a laugh. He smiled widely before scampering back towards the city. She let another laugh escape before she turned and opened the gate to the university. The tall gate swung creakily out, alerting several gossiping apprentices of her arrival. Two of them glanced at her before scattering, leaving the third staring at her in astonishment.

"Hello, apprentice. You're new, aren't you," She called out, staring at the girl as she walked closer. The Altmer girl's dark eyes widened in shock and she quickly glanced down at her feet to hide her face.

"I'm sorry," She mumbled as her cheeks blushed dark-red.

"What are you sorry for?" Maura asked. The girl glanced up at her, looking ashamed about something, but didn't speak.

"Thank Akatosh you are back," Another voice called out. Maura looked away from the girl to see a fellow mage running towards her. The girl took this opportunity to flee, slipping past the approaching Breton and vanishing into one of the nearby buildings.

"What's wrong, Brianna? Was there another incident with the necromancers?" Maura asked worriedly, glancing at the building the apprentice had vanished into before focusing on the Breton woman.

"No, thank Akatosh for that. The necromancers are remaining quiet, despite our searches and questionings. That's not why I am glad you came back. The apprentices are in dire need of a lesson in Conjuration. Since you are the best…" Brianna said nervously.

"I can't teach the apprentices and you know that. Don't you remember what happened last time I taught a class? That was just Alchemy, not some powerful spells, that was being taught," Maura stated in astonishment. Brianna grimaced at the memory of watching twelve wounded apprentices trudge in with Maura carrying two unconscious apprentices on her shoulders. They were out learning about the practical uses of alchemy and one of the apprentices had created a powerful but unstable potion. It had exploded and attracted the attention of several daedra from a newly formed Oblivion Gate. After the students had been treated for their various wounds and recovered from their shock, they immediately either complained to the other mages about the incident or became devoted to Maura.

"Yes, but most of the apprentices are insisting that you teach the class. Just be lucky you weren't here three days ago when several of the mages wanted to take an expedition into one of the gates near Anvil so that they can get the rare ingredients of that damn realm," Brianna replied, a faint grin playing on her lips.

"I am truly lucky. I would have been stuck as their bodygaurd. I can't even imagine leading a bunch of squabbling mages through that realm, they are so easily panicked. All it takes to scare a mage is to hide their favorite book or scroll, I can't imagine keeping them quiet during that sort of expedition. However, that's not the point. I do not want to teach again and have it end in some form of chaotic disaster. I will not teach unless the Arch-Mage Traven himself tells me I have to," Maura retorted. Brianna's smile vanished and was replaced with an annoyed frown.

"Maura, you can't lax from your duties," Brianna scolded. Maura crossed her arms and glared at the Breton woman. However, a soft thump quickly distracted her.

"What was that?" Maura said, glancing around for the source of the noise.

"What was what?" Brianna asked curiously. Maura shook her head before noticing a small wedge of cheese sitting nearby.

"Where'd that cheese come from?" Brianna asked. Maura looked up towards Brianna in confusion. Something yellow flashed in the corner of Maura's mind and she turned to see a wedge of cheese fall to the ground. Maura frowned in confusion and walked over to the wedge. Maura picked up the wedge and stared at it, examining it to see if it was something else. However, it simply appeared to be a normal wedge of cheese.

"By Akatosh…" Brainna said in shock before suddenly it began raining cheese wedges. Several apprentices that had been discreetly loitering near them shrieked in shock as wedges bounced off their heads and landed at their feet. Maura quickly pulled out a small shield from her pack, raising it above her head to protect her head from the falling cheese. She ran to Brianna and pulled her underneath the protection of the shield. The woman crouched low under the shield, glancing out in surprise and faint amusement.

"It's raining cheese," She murmured, a faint laugh growling at the back of her throat. Maura ignored the comment as she stared at the falling cheese and the various apprentices and mages fleeing into the nearby buildings. Any mage that remained outside, protected by a strong shield spell, stared up at the sky in confusion and amusement. Maura, however, knew why this strange thing was happening.

"Damn you, Sheogorath," She growled. For a fleeting moment, she thought about returning to the Shivering Isles and attempt to argue with the Daedra Prince. However, that idea vanished as quickly as it came. Attempting to argue with Sheogorath would either greatly amuse Sheogorath or greatly annoy him. Maura grimaced as she watched the downpour and decided that she should be lucky, in a sense. She couldn't imagine what she would have said to Martin and Jauffre if it had rained cheese at Cloud Ruler Temple.


End file.
